A Valentine to My Future Wife

A Valentine to My Future Wife

by Anonymous Warrior Poet | January 1, 2011

I have been single now for many years, and with each passing Valentine’s Day, I get more excited – excited for all God is doing and has in store for my future. Several years ago I realized that I did not want a great marriage; I want a marriage that surpasses anything the world has yet seen (perhaps better stated, I am going to give Eric and Leslie Ludy competition for the best marriage award). It was while I was still in high school that I began to read books on marriage and relationships – not because I was at a place to be married, but because I wanted God to begin forming me into a noble and heroic godly man and husband, before I got married.

Growing up, I heard many friends say that they would begin learning the basics of masculinity and what it means to be a husband after they said, “I do.” But why wait? Why not allow Jesus to begin the formation of our married lives in this season of waiting? Why not start training for epic masculinity or femininity at this very moment?

What better time to be proven faithful to your future spouse than when you are single! Singleness is a grand time when Jesus can spill and spend our lives at home, in our community, and around the world without the commitments and ties of marriage and family. It is during the single years that we have full opportunity, without distraction, to pursue the endless depths of intimacy, devotion, and one-ness with our Savior.

As a brother in Christ, I offer this challenge to you: Will you allow Jesus to strip you of everything that is not of Him and transform you into a true woman of God? Will you throw yourself at His feet and allow Him to do in you what you have failed to accomplish in your own strength and ability? Would you completely surrender and depend upon Him for life and godliness? May this year be a set-apart season surpassing all others!

This is my great desire as well – for Jesus to take this year to a whole new level. I fully expect this year to be a year of depth, enriched intimacy with Jesus, increased fortification in every area of weakness, expansion in my prayer life, being built strong and valiant, intensification of holiness, and a year where He pours my life out on behalf of others unlike ever before.

As a brother in Christ, let me encourage you to hold ever tighter to Jesus. Stand firm and delight yourself in Him! Allow Jesus to be your heart’s single desire and fulfillment. Do not get anxious or concerned that there will never be a godly guy for you. I know that we as godly men are almost as rare to sight as penguins in the Bahamas, but we do exist, and we are fighting on your behalf. But don’t search us out. Rather, aggressively go after Jesus, and if He intends you to be married, He will draw one of us out (perhaps out of seeming nothingness) to woo your heart and sweep you off your feet.

The following is a love letter I wrote my future wife, whomever and wherever she is, in anticipation of this coming Valentine’s Day. May it encourage and exhort you to remember what you are waiting for, and why…

My dear love,

I can hardly believe it is time for Valentine’s again. It seems with each passing year my love for you increases – but then so does my patience as I wait for Jesus to bring you into my life. I long to hold you in my arms, to caress your tender hands, to make you smile, and hear you laugh. I long to move forward into the future Jesus is scripting for us; to partake, with you by my side, all the adventures, discoveries, pains, joys, victories, and triumphs. But I want you to know, sweet love, I am patiently waiting.

This is my time to wait. A time for Jesus to shape me into the man you need and deserve. As I think about the man I ought to be, I know I am desperately lacking in so many areas. I long to move further down the frontier of godly masculinity unto “the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Eph. 4:13). I want to be a man of such fullness! I recognize that Jesus will be stripping, forming, and shaping me into such a man throughout my entire life, but my desire is to be as far as possible down that path when you arrive into my life.

If I may steal a phrase I read by C.T. Studd, I want no “namby-pamby-milksop-softie” sort of manhood. I want the genuine thing. I want to be both warrior and poet – a man of tenderness, love, and a soft heart while still being a man of steel, strength, nobility, and honor. Oh, that you may see me as a man – a man as he ought to be. I pray every ounce of weak and paltry imitation would flee so I may be a true man of God for thee.

My dearest love, I may not yet know the loveliness of your name nor the beauty of your face, but it already takes my breath away. As I wait expectantly for God to bring you into my life, in His perfect timing, know that you are continually upheld in prayer. I pray that Jesus would be the most important thing in your life – that not even I would be able to turn your gaze from Him. I pray that you will allow Him to shape you into a woman of pure godliness, without a hint of distraction, worldliness, or impurity. I pray He takes you deeper into absolute surrender and complete dependency upon Him, where the only explanation for your life is Jesus.

Oh, that He might form and craft you into the most radiant and captivating of set-apart women, even now. I know His work in your life will never be over, but my deep prayer and longing before we meet is that you would crave and go after the fullness of Jesus yourself. I know the world is yelling in your face to lower your standards, to throw off your elegance and grace, to allure the men around you, and a host of other absurdities, but please, oh, please, do not heed their voices. I wish I could stand in front of you to take the blunt of the criticism and attack, but because I am not there, hide yourself ever more in Jesus. Cling to Him all the tighter. May each difficult “pressing” of life only press you deeper into Him. And know, my dear love, that I am standing in prayer beside you. I am fighting and lifting you up in the spiritual realm on a daily basis.

Please be patient, dear one. I know how it can be a struggle to wait in seeming endlessness, but the time is not afar off when He will draw us together and enable me to sweep you off your feet. Use this time to fall ever more in love with our Jesus. Dive deep and drink of His richness. Be consumed and passionately intimate with Him. And know, for however long it takes, that I am patiently and prayerfully waiting.

Now and forever yours,

Your future husband*

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