The Making of a Man

The Making of a Man

by Anonymous Warrior Poet | January 1, 2012

In late 15th century England, Sir Walter Raleigh, upon encountering a mud puddle, spread his costly coat over it so Queen Elizabeth could get across without sullying her feet. And so, spreading one’s coat on a mud puddle became the behavior we expected from a gentleman. However, today it seems most boys are unwilling to get a speck of dirt on their fake leather jackets for the well-being of a lady.

I am generally the first to admit that genuine, Christ-built warrior-poets are lacking today. Just last week, my sister was picking up some groceries with her newborn. When she exited the store into freezing rain with car seat in one hand and cart in the other, there were men everywhere. But not a single one stepped up to help her carry her load. This seems to be a common scene in the culture today. Frankly, I’m unwilling to allow this shortage of warrior-poets to remain.

For years, I tried to force the men around me to be men. When they misbehaved, I told them. I didn’t hold back either – I used razor sharp words that cut to their very core. I responded to men struggling with inappropriate thoughts, crude words, and egotistical actions with criticism. I desperately wanted to see men made, but my words only discouraged them. My attempts to fix these men were my attempts. I tried to shove the life of Christ down their throats for three years, and I can assure you that it never accomplished anything. Unfortunately, I threw away any impact that could have been made during my high school years.

Wherever you may be in life, you have the opportunity and the privilege to play a key role in the formation of great warrior-poets. As your brother in Christ, I beg you to not squander it. Has your mind been transformed by Christ, or are your actions and words still defined by you?

We often gravitate toward thought patterns that do not align with the kingdom agenda. It is very important for women to guard their souls against these patterns, which may easily hinder their ability to compel the men around them toward Christ. As we go through some of these attitudes, allow the Lord to search your heart and point out any areas of possible growth.

The Disheartened

She knows what a man ought to be. God has allowed her to see an ever-so-clear picture of masculinity as He intended it. But because she has never seen a man rise up to answer the call, she slumps into cynicism and scorn. She will never see the men around her grow because she does nothing.

The Self-Sufficient

She attempts to change a man in her own ability, skill, and intellect. She sees a man who is not who he ought to be and gives him the classic “elbow in the ribs.” She criticizes his every move that is not aligned with the kingdom agenda. She does not do this out of spite, but because she believes that her words will push him toward Jesus. However, she does not realize that only Jesus can draw a man to Himself. She tries to fix the men in her life, but she does it incorrectly, which is no more effective than doing nothing. She will never see the men around her grow because she tries to change them without Jesus.

The Hopeful

Her hope is leaps and bounds beyond anything this world has to offer. This hope is not a faint glimmer, but rather it is a radiant confidence in the fulfillment of God’s Word. Expectancy and certainty of God’s promises characterize her life. She does not encounter a man living for self and walk away in a huff. She does not despise or belittle him, but instead she labors in secret prayer. She knows God’s claim upon his life, and in every word and deed she points him toward Jesus Christ.

Are you one of the first two illustrations, or is your every action toward men truly submitted to Christ?

Though often unintentional, it is easy for women to gravitate toward disillusionment and criticism of the men in their lives, but I encourage you to not fall prey to these things. Such behavior does not reflect the heart of the King. Carnal attitudes do not change anyone – they merely augment the already deteriorating situation. Your tactics and schemes will accomplish nothing as long as they are still your tactics. But if your words and actions are fully submitted to God they will define your role in the formation of the warrior-poets around you.

One of the most significant aspects of a woman’s behavior toward her brothers in Christ is her words. As it says in James,

But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be (James 3:8-10 KJV).

Your tongue will be used either to bring life (encouragement and edification) or death (discouragement and destruction) to the men in your life. As I’m sure you’ve seen, belittling the men who are closest to you – brothers, husband, dad – simply doesn’t work. It is likely that the men in your life already know their shortcomings. Harping on a man’s faults will not encourage him. In fact, it is probably the surest way to stunt his growth.

But if your words and actions show honor and respect for the men in your life, they will be pressed all the more toward Jesus. You are in a position to influence the course of their lives more than you probably imagine. Please don’t take this position lightly.

We have a problem. Those who ought to be leading their families and the Church have failed. Let us not arrogantly approach this problem with our own strategies and solutions; let us correctly approach it with the Lord’s agenda in mind. God is forging men of steel who will be bent to the will of none but Him alone. His desire is to use you as the catalyst to accomplish this. Will you allow Him to shape you into a woman who presses the men around her upward and onward toward Jesus Christ?*

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