A Call for Undiminished Femininity

A Call for Undiminished Femininity

by Anonymous Warrior Poet | July 1, 2012

Growing up, I knew many of what our culture labels as “tomboys.” They were the girls who hung out with the guys, dressed like the guys, talked like the guys, wrestled like the guys, and did just about everything like the guys. To put it plainly, they were girls who had completely disregarded their femininity. They were fed up with the overly dramatic, afraid-to-break-a-nail kind of girls. They could not stand the thought of being perceived as a girly, everything-must-be-pink Barbie. So they decided to flush their God-given femininity down the drain.

The thought of femininity being flushed down the drain is not all that exciting to me. As a warrior-poet-in-the-making, I am a great champion of femininity and long to see it upheld and untarnished. God’s sacred intent for His creation is that it would fulfill the purpose it was created to. And though it might not be clearly perceived in all the fogginess of our culture, God created women to be women – it’s that simple.

I would like to graciously expose the femininity-diminishing tendencies of “tomboys” in our culture today. There are four common trends I have witnessed in the midst of this lifestyle.

The Competitive, Obsessively Athletic Trend

This tomboy trend is masked in fully-acceptable garb. There is nothing wrong with a girl being athletic or getting a little sweaty. In fact, I think it is quite a good thing. Girls were created to be strong. In the book of Proverbs, speaking of the virtuous woman, the writer says, “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms” (Prov. 31:17 KJV). But God did not intend women’s lives to revolve around competitive sports and bicep-flexing. It is a bit frightening when a girl pulls out her jersey and with a grunt exclaims that she is the middle-linebacker for her high school football team.

The Gym Clothes Only Fashion Trend

I have seen this fashion (I’m not sure it can rightly be called “fashion”) trend amongst too many women. Many of them would rather die than be caught wearing a skirt or a dress. They are instead dressed in pajama-like attire, sweats, or baggy shorts and old t-shirts. You might even catch them sporting a pair of jeans on a good day. Once again, there is nothing wrong with wearing jeans or t-shirts, but these women make little or no effort to emanate their femininity through their clothing. They dress for the gym regardless of where they are going.

The Prideful Disdain for Ladylikeness Trend

From a man’s perspective, this is the most revolting of all tomboy trends. Following a culture in which men compete to burp their ABCs the fastest and dignity seems to be altogether lost, these women not only allow loud and foul noises to emit from their bodies and chew with their mouths open, but they often do it most proudly. They have almost no self-control and boast in the fact that they are different than all the proper, dignified girly-girls whom they abhor. Some might appear more dignified than others, but these girls all have one thing in common – they lack in the elegance department and make it a point of joking.

The Guy-Only Friend Trend

This trend is, in my opinion, the most dangerous and harmful of all typical tomboy behavior. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, these ladies flat-out do not like spending time with other girls. They have almost no female friends and enjoy spending time with men much more than with women. Often, they will proudly claim that their best friend is a guy. They will share deep things with him and cultivate an intimacy of friendship that should not be had with any man apart from the sacred covenant of marriage. They believe there is not another girl on this earth who can understand them and that they are simply destined to be close friends with guys only.

You might be wondering why I am making such a big deal about all of this. Why do I care if a girl hangs out with the guys and can bench-press more than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Why do I care if a girl allows masculinity to overtake her femininity? What’s the issue?

Femininity is arguably the most beautiful aspect of God’s creation. And, as a warrior-poet-in-the-making, it is hard to sit by and watch it be diminished and grossly degraded. I long to see women be women according to God’s pattern once again.

I’m not saying that women need to only wear skirts or they can never throw a ball or talk to a guy. I simply desire women to prize and appreciate their femininity. Here are a few of the practical ways to do this:

  • Seek to dress with God-glorifying dignity, honor, and elegance. Don’t dress simply for comfort or because the “guy style” fits your personality, but instead dress in a way that will most please and exalt Christ.
  • Allow every action of your life to be marked by heavenly purity and honor. Etiquette is not some ancient word which no longer applies to those living in the 21st century, but it is something we should still seek to make a part of our daily lives. If you don’t know how to start, seek out the wisdom of a woman whose life is marked by the dignity of heaven or find a good book on the subject.
  • Cultivate deep, Christ-centered relationships with other young ladies. And be guarded in your interactions with men, careful not share the deep recesses of your heart with them. There are certain pieces of a woman’s heart which are only meant to be shared with her husband.
  • Maintain a healthy lifestyle and stay fit, but don’t become obsessively athletic. A lady does not participate in mud-wrestling, arm-wrestling, or any other kind of wrestling. Though she may be strong, she is marked by tender love and a gentle spirit.

God treasure all of His creation. And He sovereignly created you in loving wisdom to be a woman and to bear the beautiful mark of femininity.

Listen to the worshipful psalmist: “O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures” (Psalm 104:24 ESV).

We are to worship and praise God for the wisdom and perfection of His works! If God created you as a woman, cherish it! Don’t selfishly disregard God’s unique design for femininity but praise Him, who in omniscient wisdom created you to display it.*

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