My Sister's Wedding Day

My Sister's Wedding Day

by Melody Echo | September 1, 2010

It was my sisterʼs wedding day. I had dreamed with her about this moment for so many years. I had walked through her journey to find true love and prayed and cried with her each step of the way. Now, the day weʼd both been waiting for had finally come. It was a perfect day. She was radiantly beautiful, and every detail of her love story had been faithfully scripted by God. With happy tears I helped her into her wedding dress and smiled up to God with thanks for answered prayer. Yet, even as I did so, the enemy attacked, and unwanted thoughts leaped into my mind.


“Why are you standing here helping your younger sister with her wedding dress, while you are still single?” the voice of self-pity began to badger me. “I bet Godʼs completely forgotten you when it comes to love.”

Years ago, Iʼd surrendered this area of my life to God. I had joyfully embraced a life of singleness for as long as He desired it for me. And He had been more than faithful to me each step of the journey. Now, the voice of my “surrendered will” began to take a stand against the tempting voice of self-pity.

“God has not forgotten me!” I shot back with conviction. “Not only do I think He can do this for me in his own perfect time – I am sure He can do even better than anything I have yet dreamed!”


“But look, Mel – youʼre older than your sister!” Self-pityʼs voice was relentless. “And you arenʼt getting younger. Donʼt you think itʼs a bit too late now?” Old fears I had thought were crucified and nailed to the cross were obviously not so dead after all. But I continued to meditate on the faithfulness of my God, and stood my ground.


“I may be getting older, and he is too, if heʼs out there! But that only means Iʼm that much closer to an amazing miracle if God so wills. With God, nothing is ever too late!”


“Well,” self-pityʼs voice continued with a heavy sigh, “ I just hope youʼre prepared. It may be a few years. In fact, it may not ever happen at all!”


I breathed a quick prayer, and then almost laughed to myself, as I gained new strength.


“A few years, a hundred years! I donʼt care! I only want a love story if itʼs Godʼs will anyway. And besides, Iʼve got much too happy of a life to sit around and feel sorry for myself! So, letʼs not even go there!”

Self-pity slipped away in defeat, and I smiled to myself in peace. There was no way I was going to let those unwanted thoughts mess up my life, let alone this beautiful day. My younger sisterʼs wedding day became one of the happiest days of my life!

Iʼm 32 years old – well past the age at which I thought I would no longer be single! Iʼve continued to grow through experiences of both joy and pain, and I still havenʼt met my prince charming. But my life is so full and complete in Christ. And I couldnʼt be happier! Iʼve been privileged to travel to many different countries around the world doing health work and evangelism. Iʼve watched hundreds of Kenyans go under the water in baptism, simply because I chose to step out of my comfort zone and go to the bush in Africa to speak the simple Gospel words written on a projector screen. Even here in the United States, while by profession, I am a nurse, my real profession is ministry. Iʼve prayed with hundreds of my patients and have even watched some give their life to Christ. There is no greater joy! Many people tell me enviously that Iʼm so lucky Iʼm single and can do all these things. Some of these are ones that got married right out of high school, some have married more than once, and some have marriages that theyʼve found to be less than fulfilling. Of course, even for them, there is still hope for more. Yet, I have to say, itʼs true! Itʼs not being “lucky” but being “blessed,” because Iʼve allowed God to do with my love life what He saw best.


A few years ago, there was a guy in my life whom I was very like-minded with, and he was aimed toward the mission field – just like me. Iʼd grown up with him, and had actually prayed for over eight years that if it was Godʼs will, He would bring us together. However, my hopes and dreams for earthly love came crashing down when he, who also had never dated, started dating one of my close friends. They were later married, and asked me to be in their wedding. By Godʼs grace, I could stand in full support, even though my own world had shattered. (We are all still very close friends to this day!) But God had a purpose for this heartbreaking experience, and it was through this, the death of my vision, the death of my way, that He became even more real in my life!

Suddenly, with overwhelming clarity, I realized how God felt about me – How much he loved me, and longed for me to truly be in love with Him. And instead of dreaming of the marriage vows that I hoped to someday share with an earthly prince, the passion of my life began to focus more and more around the vows I should be saying and living daily with my heavenly Prince.

While it hasnʼt all been easy, I know God gave me this season of singleness for a purpose, to help me grow up, and also to grow my character in Him! I realize now that the purpose of my life was not just to “have a romantic marriage” or even to “have a partner in service” (both worthwhile ambitions!). But the purpose of my life that God has patiently been seeking to show me over the years was to find my fulfillment in Him – to be fully surrendered and yielded to Him and His plan, His purposes! Itʼs kind of funny, but sometimes I wonder if I still even want to get married! Imagine that! Sometimes I think, If I got married, would I still continue to have the same sweet and fulfilling relationship with Christ that I have now? Would a husband encourage me in this walk, or would he be jealous? Of, course, I know if God wills for me to marry, the “right man” will be seeking that for me too. In the meantime, if I never marry, it’s okay! I have found my True Love, and I couldnʼt ask for more!

My encouragement to my single sisters:

Donʼt let the world distract you. Everyone says, “Why arenʼt you married? Why arenʼt you dating?” Iʼd tell them why, and then they would tell me, “Your standards are just too high. You are too picky!” Sometimes I believed them. I tried the “Internet getting acquainted scene.” Yikes! I felt like I was in the midst of a school of sharks; and of course, everyone was only putting their best foot forward. You didnʼt see them in everyday life, and once I did (with one guy I met on E-Harmony) I realized how incompatible we really were!! I know there have been good matches that have resulted from such sites, but I encourage all the single girls I know to stay away from “Internet dating.” God knows our hearts, He knows our needs, and He can bring that person into our life at the right place and the right time, even if we are in some remote village in a third-world country!! So, my philosophy is, if God hasnʼt brought that person along, itʼs not the right time. Keep focusing on growing in Him, and donʼt worry about what others say, or about all the “love-birds” around you!

Our society is sick, and it tends to try and cripple those healthy singles still around, saying we arenʼt complete when we’re alone, and that we have to have a partner, even if itʼs a date! But itʼs a lie! Even if you get married, you arenʼt going to find your complete fulfillment and happiness in your partner. And if you try to, youʼll be disappointed. No one could ever make me happy the way He does!

So we need to get out of this mind-set that we are only “half-whole” and realize that we are complete in Christ! And even if youʼre scared of the dark, like me, with God by your side, you can go to the jungle all alone and face the scary unknown for the sake of Christ. Itʼs incredible!

Also, itʼs not all about having the best body, trying to stay young, and trying to impress the world! Itʼs about living completely and only for your King! Of course, the devil tries in a thousand ways to distract us from this goal through friends, careers, security, fear, fashion, things, entertainment, and even natural dreams of building a home and nest. But if it keeps us from the Bible and from time on our knees, we are doomed to a life of discontented singleness! But if we can break past these obstacles, the sky is the limit for possibilities!*

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