Godly Guy/Girl Interaction

Godly Guy/Girl Interaction

by Anonymous Warrior Poet | September 1, 2011

There once was a warrior-poet who became incensed with the injustices of his day. He was outraged by the violations of honor and purity taking place within the state and Church. This man of God was so compelled to do something about it that he finally got up the nerve to take a stand that he knew would incite the retaliation of the powerful men of his day. However, he also knew that it would inspire a generation that was languishing in doubt, confusion, and squalor.

Thus, he took a piece of paper with ninety-five complaints against the “powers-that-be” and pounded it to the church door in Wittenberg, Germany. His name was Martin Luther, and his stance for purity and justice was a costly one. However, we might possibly still be under the oppression of Papal dominance had not God inspired him to declare the world-altering truths of the Word of God with a passion and without blushing!

I, though just a warrior-poet-in-the-making, have a few complaints of my own that I would like to level at a grotesque monster that has lingered far too long in the corridors of the Church. He is sort of like a giant, green, slimy, smelly, Sumo-wrestler-shaped character. While no one is comfortable with him being around, we simply tolerate him, hoping he will go away and take his oozy trail of stench with him. Since no one else seems to be doing anything about ol’ blubber boy, I guess it falls to me. I don’t have ninety-five theses to nail to a big wooden door, but I do have a few complaints against this odious slob that I will post anywhere I can. The name of this character is UGGI, and that stands for “Unhealthy Guy/Girl Interaction.”

I am going to dive in with guns a blazin’ and I hope that I deal a mortal wound to UGGI in the process! Here’s my opinion of him: he has absolutely no place in the life of a set-apart girl or in the life of a warrior-poet guy. So, even though you might squirm as you read this, I am hopeful that after you hear these complaints, UGGI will find your life inhospitable to his sloppy mess. UGGI has a few sidekicks that do his bidding, and I want to unmask four of them for you.

Sidekick #1

UGGI has a sidekick known as “Goofball.” He laughs a lot, but he doesn’t laugh at cute things kids say, or a genuinely funny comment or situation. He laughs at crudeness, ridiculousness, obsceneness, and anything off-color. Here’s the problem: when we throw Goofball a bone, hoping he’ll quiet down, he actually gets louder. His jokes get more carried away, off the wall, and out of control. We all know how it works – a guy says something funny and all the girls laugh. Without realizing that his first joke was a little off-color, he is egged on by the guffawing crowds and decides to try some bigger and better antic of ridiculousness. Pretty soon, other guys are joining in and trying to play a game called “I can tell a better joke than you.” They proceed to play this game for the next three hours, all the while the girls are hoping the jokesters will finally shut up. Here’s the solution: don’t laugh at Goofball. Do not tell another joke in the hopes that it will be the final one. Leave the room if you have to, but do not allow the slog of goofiness to create a drunkenness of laughter. I love to laugh, and probably laugh more than anyone else on the planet, but I refuse to laugh at crudeness or inappropriateness. As a result, my laughter always draws me closer to Christ! Why? Because I joyfully laugh at humor that is pure, noble, and holy in its bearing!

Sidekick #2

Do you remember those little eyeball things that you would glue to stuff in grade school? Those always creeped me out, and they happen to look like another one of UGGI’s cronies. “Googly Eyes” stares and gawks a lot. We aspiring warrior-poets are very conscious of where our eyes are looking. We don’t follow a girl across the room with our eyes. Our eyes are restrained from gawking at young women. Not all guys understand this and (this irks me as a guy) not all girls realize how dangerous this is for them as well. A guy notices when a girl is watching him, and some girls don’t realize that Googly Eyes has been plastered on their faces. When you stare at a godly guy, it leaves him feeling uncomfortable and sort of creeped out – especially when the same girl gazes his direction all the time. So, here’s my advice to both guys and girls: guard your eyes and don’t let Googly Eyes plaster his plastic orbs upon your face. When in conversation, maintain eye contact, but not too long, so you don’t make the other person begin to feel uncomfortable. Also, be mindful of how long your gaze lingers on certain individuals; you may think it is unnoticeable, but the likelihood is that there are numerous people in the room that notice the tacky Googly Eyes on your face.

Sidekick #3

This next sidekick of the villainous UGGI is quite possibly the most lethal and most likely to cause massive breaches in your life and the lives of those around you. This guy lurks in places of isolation. He is elusive, shadowy, and almost completely invisible. His name is “Get Alone.” Here is his strategy: he tries to isolate a guy and a girl, and separate them from the rest of the group. Then he endeavors to place them in a position where they can talk for hours on end; or if he gets really aggressive, he’ll try to lead this couple to a compromising location or situation. He hates oversight from godly parents or leaders, and is always making excuses to get these two naive individuals alone. Now, just because you happen to be in a room alone with a guy does not mean that you are sinning. However, a true warrior-poet will notice when he has been left alone in a room with a girl, and will (with gentility and politeness in tact) make an exit as quickly as possible. A man of God values his honor and a young woman’s dignity too much to carelessly give a place to accusation or suspicion.

“Get Alone” may not have debauchery in mind when he isolates a guy and girl, but he may be trying to bring about a false accusation which could sully their honor for a long time. I knew of a youth pastor who was not guarded and cautious. He spent time alone with one of his female students. She made an accusation against him, and though he made claims that he did nothing wrong or indecent, it was her word against his, and his ministry was forever undermined. A warrior-poet man and a woman set-apart for God’s purposes will endeavor to never allow any cause for accusation against their honor. If you ever find yourself alone with a guy, leave as quickly as possible. “Get Alone” may tempt you to linger, even strike up an innocent conversation, but in the eyes of those around you, and more importantly, in the eyes of our King, you are toying with dynamite. Do not let “Get Alone” get away with such a ridiculous ploy. I have seen so-called “godly” couples destroy their relationships and reputations by lingering too long in isolation. Furthermore, as a girl, you may be placed in a situation where you are unable to leave. Remember that your honor is maintained first and foremost by the God of heaven. He will defend and maintain your honor!

Sidekick #4

Let me introduce you to one more of UGGI’s many accomplices. Her name is “Megaphone.” She is a loudmouth. She is always glaringly obvious in everything she says and does. When someone lets Megaphone rule their life, she seems to go out of her way to make it clear which member of the opposite sex she’s most attracted to. Both guys and girls let Megaphone run free in their lives. If you get two of these folks together, watch out! You have the makings of an incredibly distracting and ungodly relationship. They will always sit together, flirt incessantly, and parade their affections boisterously wherever they go. It is obvious that Googly Eyes has paid them a visit and they don’t seem to mind the fact that Get Alone is their constant companion. Megaphone blasts to the world the things that should be kept secret, discreet, and hidden. When a girl has an obvious attraction to a warrior-poet, and she makes it patently evident, that warrior-poet will go to great lengths to distance himself from her. He is not attracted to “Megaphone” tendencies. If a girl is always unruly, rambunctious, and trying to get the attention, a true warrior-poet will avoid her.

When a guy lets Megaphone into his life, he will prowl around like wolf, obviously looking for “easy prey.” A set-apart girl must give such a wolf no open door. She must not let him associate himself with her. Megaphone’s main agenda is to get people thinking and talking about anything other than Jesus. Therefore, she will make a girl overly and flirtatiously loud; and she will make a normal guy so clingy that he becomes more obnoxious than a Sumo-wrestler in the middle seat on an airplane. Do not let Megaphone into your life. She wants to distract you, and everyone around you, from focusing on Jesus.

These are only a few of UGGI’s gang. There are many more, and they are ferociously opposed to the building of Christ-honoring friendships between godly guys and girls. They despise honor, nobility, gentility, and the like. They would prefer to gratify sinful pleasures which last for a moment, rather than bask in the eternal joy of Christ-built purity. You must not let UGGI anywhere near your life or interactions with members of the opposite sex. Here’s a rule to live by: live as if the whole world is watching your manner of life and that their decision to follow Jesus Christ is going to be based upon the purity and holiness of your lifestyle. True warrior-poets and set-apart girls live as if a generation was watching them, and more importantly, they live to please a holy God.*

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