Eat. Chick-flick. Guy-talk. Gossip. Repeat. So goes the progression of many girls’ nights and get-togethers … but is that all there is to friendship? Leslie shares the most common pitfall that is often invited to our girls’ nights in the first episode of this two-part series. Discover how to reach further than the modern day pitfalls of gossip and learn how to create gatherings that encourage you and your friends in your walk with Christ.
Our culture doesn’t promote healthy friendships and God-honoring get togethers. The classic recipe for many girls’ nights leaves us feeling hollow and guilty over things we have done or said. While our hang-outs and fellowship times are supposed to equip us for the challenges of day-to-day life, we must ask if the ways we are “refueling” with our friends is truly strengthening us or is it depleting us?
The Bible paints a picture of what many Christian women’s gatherings look like: “wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not” (1 Tim. 5:13). Sadly, this is what many of our girls’ nights turn out to be, nothing more than gossip, guy-talk, and self-indulgence. But God’s model for gathering together is refreshing, edifying, and truly does strengthen us for the daily challenges of life.
Typical Girls’-Night Activity: Gossip
Gossip can fly under the radar and assume different names such as: venting, processing, or “being honest.” We must remember that God takes a strong stand against gossip in His Word and that He hates gossip and discord within the Body of Christ. (Read Proverbs 6:18-19.) It is sobering to realize that God puts gossip on the same spectrum of detestability as hands that shed innocent blood. Gossip may seem small, but don’t be fooled — it’s serious.
Refraining from gossip is two-fold. The Bible tells us not just to avoid telling gossip, but also to not associate with those who do. (Read Proverbs 20:19; 1 Corinthians 5:11.) When gossip is left untended, it leads to relational chaos and prevents us from being a light to this world because we’re entangled in a mess of discord, jealousy, and slander.
The best way to root gossip out of your life is to faithfully take your burdens and cares to the right Person — Jesus Christ. He longs for us to take our burdens and cast them before His feet, not to process them with countless others. There may be times where He is leading us to confide in a trusted accountability partner or close friend, but even then we must remember that there is no replacement for turning to Jesus first.
God-Honoring Alternative: Encouragement
Your get-togethers with female friends are not the place to be talking about your frustrations with others. Instead, purpose to direct conversation and the tone of your time together in a totally different direction — encouragement.
Both giving and receiving encouragement can be life-changing. When we encourage another person in the Lord, our friend is not only blessed, but we are too as we think on the things that are lovely, noble, and pure that we have seen Christ do in our friend’s life. Purpose to be creative and look for ways to bring encouragement into the atmosphere of the event you’re planning or attending. Remember, you don’t have to wait for a special occasion to encourage someone. It’s fitting for any day of the year!
If even our eating and drinking can be done for the glory of God, doesn’t it stand to reason that our female get-togethers can be done in the same spirit? Look for ways to bring edifying conversation into your get-togethers with friends, and see how the tone of your time spent together changes and refreshes your soul and the souls of those around you!
- Proverbs 6:16-19
- Proverbs 20:19
- 1 Corinthians 5:11
- 1 Corinthians 1-:31
To take this topic deeper, check out Leslie’s article, A God-Honoring “Girls'” Night.