Join Leslie in the first episode of this two-part series as she tackles the question: Is singleness really a gift? Between the relentless pressure of the culture to find your significant other, the constant remarks and questions of friends and family members, and the insensitivity of the modern church, many Christian single women have come to believe that singleness is a problem to be solved rather than an opportunity from God. Is contentment in Christ really possible during our single years? In this encouraging episode, Leslie points us to God’s Word to prove that Jesus is truly enough to flood our hearts with the reality that He is All in all, whether we are married or single.
With the number of singles on the rise, the modern Church is grappling with the “singleness problem” and questioning its original position of waiting on the Lord to faithfully bring a spouse into a person’s life in His time and way. We are going to take a look at the question of whether or not singleness is really a gift from God and see how even asking that question subtly undermines the goodness of God.
It’s not surprising that the majority of Christian culture sees singleness as a problem to be fixed with the books on the market and good-intentioned family and friends curiously asking if there’s a “special someone” on the near horizon. Modern messages promote and excuse anger over being single. Even though many of these voices incorporate truth into their messages such as how God designed marriage and family, how we should value the sacredness of the marriage covenant, and reject temporary flings over intentional relationships, etc., many of them misidentify the true culprit behind the diminishment of marriage in today’s world. The danger lies in pointing an accusing finger at the Church’s classic teasing on biblical, God-centered singleness.
One tactic claims that if we are among those who believe God has a plan and purpose for singleness, we are guilty of diminishing the importance and sanctity of marriage. Another claims if we joyfully embrace singleness we have been duped by Satan himself! Other critics say that looking to God for ultimate fulfillment and trusting Him to orchestrate a love story is over-spiritualizing a single person’s marital status, or lack thereof.
Summed up, all of these messages say the same thing: Christ is not enough to meet us at the deepest level of our soul.
While I agree that awakening independently-minded, career-over-everything-else women towards God’s sacred intent for marriage is important, in my experience with young women, this predominantly isn’t the type of woman who is listening to these types of messages. Rather it is single women who are longing for a beautiful marriage and the opportunity to keep a home and raise a family for God’s glory. Books of this sort in the wrong hands can be devastating.
It is important to evaluate the correctness of a message not based on how it makes us feel but on how much it agrees with Scripture. If a modern message doesn’t align with the pattern of the Gospel, we must not allow its persuasive nature, ability to play on our emotions, or its power to make us feel good lead us into unbiblical thinking patterns.
The question remains: Is containment in Jesus really possible for this season or is contented singleness an over-spiritualized notion?
Psalm 42:1 paints a beautiful picture of how any individual – single or married – is to desire Jesus Christ. We are to be longing after Jesus Christ a the deer pants after the water, for He alone can satisfy the deepest needs and longings of our soul. While God did design us for relationship with others and, for most of us, probably for marriage, it is unbiblical to say that He isn’t enough to fulfill us at the deepest level.
The primary error held among the Church today in regards to this issue is that Jesus is not enough. No matter how intelligent or spiritual that error sounds, the reality of the Word of God says that Jesus IS enough. Adam and Eve’s relationship wasn’t meant to replace their relationship with God. Scripture doesn’t mention that marriage satisfies the longing soul, but that God does. Jesus Christ is shown all throughout Scripture as the perfect fulfillment of our heart and the sweetest satisfaction of our soul – He doesn’t intend to only fill us halfway. Marriage is not designed to make up for what God lacked. God created marriage to be a reflection of the perfect union and fellowship that we can have with Him and showcases the ultimate marriage of Jesus Christ and His Bride, the Church.
A season of singleness is an opportunity to serve the Lord without distraction and is the best time to find our entire satisfaction in Jesus and not in a spouse. Orient your life to be consumed with loving, serving, studying, obeying, and worshiping Christ. He will supernaturally enable you with joy and peace to walk this narrow way!
- Ephesians 1:23
- Psalm 73:25
- Psalm 16:11
- Psalm 107:9
- Psalm 42:1
- For a great meditation on all that Christ is to us, watch the short film He Is here.
- Prepare for an amazing love story with Eric and Leslie Ludy’s online course — Secrets to an Amazing Love Story.