I am a single woman who has laid my desire for marriage before God and am waiting upon Him. My question is this: While I am still single, what are some practical suggestions (from your experience) for how I can both live with intentionality today, and also practically prepare for the future?
answered by: sarah g | CO, USA
As a single woman who desires marriage and is daily collecting answers to this question, I find such joy in happening upon skill sets, principles, and life lessons that cultivate purposeful singleness now that can transfer brilliantly into a future marriage someday. That’s the key: finding things that transfer well.
For example, displaying excellence in the roles I already enjoy (daughter, sister, friend, coworker, etc.), diligently strengthening the weaknesses I’m painfully aware of, and stewarding single life for His glory before I attempt an entire family … these are all foundational, transferable training grounds that — for better or for worse — will follow me far beyond matrimony!
The longer I have been acquainted with singleness, the more I have come to realize that the threshold between Miss to Mrs. need not be a huge chasm that we clear by beauty, finishing school, or sheer determination. This is a theory I am testing, but I think that the transition can be seamless if I am preparing for the coming of Christ into my life and not just for the coming of a Christian man.
I want to encourage you to enjoy the blessings that are specific to singleness and aren’t conducive to a married lifestyle. Cultivate that which can be implemented now and commit to prayer that which can only be applied later. Instead of daydreaming about the wedding, concentrate on what covenant actually means. Do find someone to teach you to cook and clean, but above all learn to cherish the doing of these extra-ordinary tasks; it is the insignificant that serves our present and our future families in the most profound ways.
answered by: Lauren R. |CO, usa
Having been married for over four years now, I’m so grateful for the many ways the Lord faithfully led and shaped me as a single woman. Yet, as I look back, I believe I could have honored the Lord more during those years had I lived with greater intentionality and heavenly perspective.
First, I would encourage you to choose contentment in Christ today. Contentment is embracing what God has given, and not given, with a heart of trust, gratitude, and joy. Marriage is an incredible gift, but if you are unsatisfied with God’s purpose for you today as a single woman, even a sparkling ring on your left hand and a husband by your side someday will leave you feeling discontented. Purpose to embrace with gladness what God has given today (work, marital status, circumstances, etc.) and your marriage someday will truly be the treasure that God intends.
Secondly, consider how you can spend your discretionary time wisely and prayerfully. As a wife and mom, the majority of my time is now spent at home — which I love! So while I cherish opportunities to mentor younger women or organize special events for our church ladies, I have a limited margin of time that I can give to those things in order to keep my family and home a priority. I realize that being single doesn’t mean having piles of extra time just lying around! However, I know that I could have spent my “free time” more wisely as a single, choosing to spend more time in His presence or loving others. Lay your time before the Lord and let Him define how it is spent!